Sms Messages & Sms Jokes
We will now upgrade your brain, please wait….Searching….searching…still searching….sorry,NO BRAIN found…!
I’M AN ALIEN. I HAVE JUST TRANSFORMED MYSELF INTO THIS TEST. AS YOU ARE READING I’M HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EYEBALLS. I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SMILING
All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the love that could be found in two, is less than what I feel for you.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely pelats and perfum aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!
Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.
Bad sex is better then a good day in school.
Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!
Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE�
Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams……
My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too…
Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? …Okay, then can we just practice?
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Jesus loves you… everyone else thinks your an asshole�
If you wanna be a hipi, put you flower in your pipi�
Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!
Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”
CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
Crime doesn’t pay…Does that mean my job is a crime?
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.
Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
I want to suck you… lick you… wanna move my tongue all over you…wanna feel you in my mouth…yep, tat’s how u…eat an ice cream!
ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
Don’t spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears…
There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
I’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who’s there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
What’s the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
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